LOVE's Recipe

Once again I want to write about LOVE. Love really is the center of our life, everyone’s life whether they want to admit it or not. There is always the need for it, the need to give it or the rejoicing in having it- Love is the center. There are so many avenues that can be taken with this discussion but I want to stay with the main idea of love and where it fits into a relationship. I could write a book on this subject with each “rule” having its own chapter but I will keep it as brief as I possibly can. There are so many people that just don’t know how to love, well, here’s the recipe. Many may follow it in part but for every failed relationship you’ll find that it wasn’t followed in whole by the letter. I challenge you as you read it to see where you come up short, see what area(s) you need to work on. Then I want you to see where your significant other falls short. With out being judgmental sit down and go over it together and decide to make your relationship the very best that it can be. The first information I want to go over you have probably read and/or seen many times throughout your life even if you didn’t know where it originated. These are the words inspired by God to be written in the Bible. First, the King James Version followed by the Message translation:

1 Corinthians 13:3-8
And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

1 Corinthians 13:3-8
If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love

1. Charity suffereth long ~ Love never gives up
2. Charity is kind ~ Love cares more for others than for self
3. Charity envieth not ~ Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have
4. Charity vaunteth not itself ~ Love doesn’t strut
5. Charity is not puffed up ~ Love doesn’t have a swelled head
6. Charity doth not behave itself unseemly ~ Love doesn’t force itself on others
7. Charity seeketh not her own ~ Love isn’t always “me first”
8. Charity is not easily provoked ~ Love doesn’t fly off the handle
9. Charity thinketh no evil ~ Love doesn’t keep score of the sins of others
10. Charity rejoiceth not in iniquity ~ Love doesn’t revel when others grovel
11. Charity rejoices in the truth ~ Love takes pleasure in the flowering of truth
12. Charity beareth all things ~ Love puts up with anything
13. Charity believes all things ~ Love trusts God always
14. Charity hopes all things ~ Love always looks for the best
15. Charity endures all things ~ Love never looks back
16. Charity never faileth ~ Love keeps on going to the end

Wow! How many things slapped you in the face? I know we aren’t perfect but Love is. It is that conscious decision that you make each and every time a situation arises, how you choose to handle it. Too many people want to give up, throw in the towel way too soon or too easily. Rule number one: never give up. If you truly love this person then why would you want to lose them? It doesn’t matter what has been said or done, love doesn’t give up-period. If you feel you’ve been hurt beyond repair try showing them forgiveness and love them anyway. Love never runs out of opportunities to try. Rule number two: put them first. Always in every situation put them first. Yes I know that’s hard to do sometimes because of your own wants but who’s happiness do you care about the most? Rule number three: do not compare your relationship to someone else’s, “If you loved me like he loves her” or “if we had what they have”. Be content with who you are and what you have. The same goes for your significant other, you cannot change people but rather you need to love them for who they are. Appreciate all of the idiosyncrasies that make them who they are, you may not be perfect in their eyes either because we are all individuals with our own little quirks. Love ALL of them. Rule number four: Don’t go rubbing it in others faces how great your relationship is when theirs may be less than desired. On the personal level, if you happen to “win” an argument take the win with grace, show some love and don’t throw out the “I told you so”. Rule number five: don’t let your ego swell. Never think that you are better than someone else. Remember, you are both equals fighting for a common goal and that is to make each others life the most complete and happiest life possible. Rule number six: don’t be pushy. Remember, you’re a team and all things need to be talked about and agreed upon. Nothing should be forced on someone regardless of what it is, and I could give numerous examples here but I think you get the idea. Rule number seven: me, me, me doesn’t cut it. Remember, if you want, want, want then you have to give, give, and give. Always put them first. Rule number eight: Be patient, we’re going make each other mad, we’ll do things that irritate the crap out of each other but step back, think before you speak, put yourself in their position and then discuss the issue. Don’t blow up and start saying things just to be hurtful in retaliation. Once you let something go, once it’s said then it’s out there and cannot be taken back. All the “I’m sorrys” in the world can’t heal a wound. It will scar over and will always be there. Stop and think. Rule number nine: It doesn’t matter who is wrong all the time. It doesn’t matter if you feel like you are constantly giving and getting nothing in return. It doesn’t matter how much they hurt you. Keep giving and showing them how much you love them. Forgive then forget. Make them your “everything”. Rule number ten: If they ask your forgiveness give it lovingly. Do not be proud in your being right and them being wrong. Rule number eleven: Always be honest with one another. Trust is the foundation on which love is built. Even when the truth may hurt, be honest. Lies only make more lies, one to cover another. They eventually do greater damage than what the truth would have done. Rule number twelve: we all make mistakes, you do and your partner will too. Accept them for who they are, forgive them for what they do and love them through it all. Nothing matters more than the love you both share. Rule number thirteen: Never lose trust in God or the love he gave you. Even when things aren’t going the way you think they should….believe. Rule number fourteen: look past the imperfections and look for the good. Focus on the things that you initially fell in love with, water the hopes and grow together in love. Rule number fifteen: Leave the past in the past. Again, forgive and forget. If the past was worth keeping you would have kept it your future. Rule number sixteen: never give up. Sounds a lot like rule number one doesn’t it? True love will never walk away but it will fight until there is no life left to fight. Love will endure all things if with it you remain humble and are willing to forgive. This is the recipe for true love and happiness in every relationship. It is one that must be carried and practiced by both partners. One sided love will remain crippled and it will limp through life never really being whole and living up to its full potential. I hope you have noticed the common thread to all of the rules. Trust, forgive, forget, accept, be patient, and put each other first in all things. If each of you is putting each other first then you will both be fulfilling each others dreams, wants, and desires. It is a full circle of reciprocation. If I want it I must give it. If I put them first they will return the favor and put me first. It is a constant compromise of giving just for the pleasure of making each other happy. Until next time, Live – Love – Laugh. Keeponkeepin’on

…D..